Guest writer, Rosie Malezer - Readers’ Favorite Official Reviewer

It is a question asked so often and, while the typical answer is true, it is not the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Yes, it is true for the majority of Finns that Finland is one of the luckiest countries in which a person could live... unless you are Deaf. That small difference is the that between being housed or homeless, being employed or discarded as too stupid to work. Deaf people in Finland are begging to be heard. Income, housing and basic human rights are something a Deaf person in Finland would give anything to have.

Even when the law courts of Finland have demanded that a Deaf person be treated with respect and dignity, the social institute of Finland, KELA, outright refuses to obey such a court order. How do I know this? I am Deaf. The courts have ruled that KELA stop acting so shameful and permit me my basic human rights. At first, KELA conceded that they would do so - this lasted for less than 24 hours before they rescinded their decision to provide any assistance to one of their own law-abiding citizens and defy the courts of their country.

My advice to anybody who is Deaf: DO NOT come to Finland unless it is for a short-term vacation and you are accompanied by a hearing person. As a Deaf person, you will see the vast beauty of Finland's landscapes and incredible fauna - too beautiful for words. You will also learn of a new word - SURDOPHOBIA (the fear and loathing of Deaf people) - as many people's backs turned the moment they realise you are Deaf.

The Poliisi of Finland are the only exception to this rule, but they are helpless to act. They are frustrated and angry also at the way that Deaf people are treated by government and Finnish people. I would give anything to be living in Australia right now, surrounded by my family, yet once again hiding every day and night from the man who has vowed to police to kill me - my abusive, former spouse. But after the death of my baby and injuries inflicted upon me which cost me a year of my life, I know I can never return home.

I live in Finland with my Finnish husband. We had a choice of which country we would live out our lives and, due to his culture shock with the weather, we both chose Finland. It was a decision made eight years ago when we married. My options, however, are now coming to an end. The powers that be in Finland have, again, turned their backs on the basic human rights and needs of the Deaf of Finland.

Rosie Malezer x

The last two weeks have been exceptionally difficult for me. Why is it that many of us find it hard to admit our weaknesses and feel almost obligated to only show our upbeat and happy sides no matter what is happening? "Fake it until you make it," is an expression that was drilled into my head when I was feeling less than "perfect." Goodness, we mustn't let anyone see us sad or hurting, much less crying, right?

I often hum or sing a tune that matches my mood. I especially perform this ritual when I am disheartened and have a few favorites that I sing or play in my mind to help lift me out of the slumps. One is the song, Smile, by Charles Chapin, John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons. Some of its lyrics include: "Smile, though your heart is aching. Smile, even though it's breaking. When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by. If you smile through your fear and sorrow. Smile and maybe tomorrow. You'll see the sun come shining through for you." Again, no one should see us hurting inside.

Maya Angelou stated, "My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return." For me, loving someone is so much easier than accepting love in return . . . . EXCEPT when it comes to my blessed, God-given pups. Their love is pure. Their love is unconditional. And, their love is everlasting. I don't need to worry whether or not I am "worthy" or "good enough." I also don't need to worry whether or not I made a mistake or have a bad habit that needs correcting. I am accepted and forgiven without reservation. No dust needs to settle - I am simply forgiven. Sure, they squabble but they let each other know immediately when there is a need for correction. No waiting. No hesitating. It is what it is! And, what is amazing - their hearts don't seem to have room for holding onto grudges or for thoughts of past errors. It's over; it's done. They show love continually to each other, our family, and our friends.

I continue to learn from my pups are capable of teaching me more lessons than I can imagine. The list is endless -

loving unconditionally,
forgiving relentlessly
never wasting energy by holding onto grudges,
being me,
not being afraid to share my emotions and moods,
living in the moment,
playing,
greeting my family and friends with excitement,
trusting those who trust me,
knowing who to trust,
giving lots of hugs and kisses,
accepting that I don't need to be perfect,
accepting my shortcomings as well as strengths,
listening carefully,
speaking with kindness,
correcting with gentleness,
enjoying my cookies!
. . . . . . . . . . . . .

While my physical and emotional pain has been difficult these past couple weeks, I reflect on some statements made by others as I try to remember to be as kind to myself as I truly want to be to others.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill

"No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible." George Chakiris

"Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness." Mother Teresa

"'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Psalm 23 NIV

God bless you, dear friends. Be good to yourselves.

What is Finland Like for the Deaf?

Love & Acceptance